May 7, 2012

Pin It


Leather Running Shorts and a Lesson in Posing

I'll be the first to admit that I have really mastered the art of "making love to the camera," and each time I take photos for a personal style post, I, without fail, pull out the same moves from my repertoire of poses. Like an edition of Outfits & Outtakes, I thought I would show you what really goes on during a photo session (aside from what's posted on this blog) with said "outtakes," for a demonstration and lesson for you on posing like A Haute Mess.

Get your notebooks out, young grasshoppers, because you'll want to write this down.

1. The Nonchalant Fashion Week Street Style Pose

The simplest of the poses, this one is often used in response to photographers who ask if they may take a photo. All you need is a natural stance, sunglasses (they make you look more important and thus intriguing), and most importantly, a smug half-smile, to communicate, "I'm late for a show! But you're right, I do look awesome so I guess I can humor you."

vest: Club Monaco, shirt: Equipment, shorts: Zara, shoes: Preen x Aldo Rise, bag: Rebecca Minkoff, necklace: Belle Noel, sunglasses: Super

2. The Red Carpet Renée Zellweger

Stand up as tall as you can, stand slightly to the side for a flattering camera angle, place the hand of the arm facing the photographers on your hip to make it look as toned as possible, hold your clutch in your other hand but do not press your other arm down at your body because sweet Jesus it might press the skin down and look bigger than it is, suck in everything you have while keeping an ever-so-slight pigeon-toe to ensure that your flabby inner thighs are hidden, hold your breath for as long as you can and HOPE TO GOD THAT YOU LOOK AS SKINNY AS POSSIBLE BUT DON'T THINK TOO MUCH OR FREAK OUT BECAUSE THIS HAS TO LOOK NATURAL!

See? It's really quite simple.

3. The Seductive Dip

Bend it like Marilyn Monroe, or imitate a child who really has to pee. This one is self-explanatory.

M3r8RO on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

4. The Over-the-Shoulder Wink 

As you walk away from your photographer, throw your head over your shoulder, and give him or her a coy wink. It's charming, it's playful, and hot damn, it is sexy. As you know at this point, the sunglasses are often necessary as part of your appeal, and even if you can't see it, know that I do have my right eye closed under these matte black shades. Throw in a rascally smile that says, "that was a delight! Let's do it again sometime."

5. The Coco 

Many of you may have seen this video of Coco Rocha posing on set, and I'll admit, it is impressive, but I prefer to channel the greater of the Cocos when in front of the camera: O'Brien, of course. The Conan O'Brien jig is a personal favourite of mine, and nothing delights an audience quite like it. It's still a work in progress, but what I lack in ginger bouffant I make up for in enthusiasm -- and so can you. Give it a try, and don't be surprised when you hear applause.

41lfhI on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

vest: Club Monaco, shirt: Equipment, shorts: Zara, shoes: Preen x Aldo Rise, bag: Rebecca Minkoff, necklace: Belle Noel, sunglasses: Super

There you have it, kiddos! You now have no need to ever feel camera shy again, because the education you just received is now your secret weapon, for better or for worse.  
Go get 'em, tigers.

follow A HAUTE MESS on


  1. Cool shorts! And fun poses!

  2. Thanks for the tutorial, I hope to employ the use of 'The Coco' ASAP!

    x The Pretty Secrets

  3. LOL omg that gif of you doing the Conan jig had me crying

  4. HAHA I just found this post while Google-ing 'Preen x Aldo' in contemplation of whether or not I should buy these beauties - are they comfy? Yes? Maybe? ... but I came across something far more amusing. Your poses are geniuses, I kind of love you.