May 8, 2012

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The 2012 Met Ball: Best Dressed! Psyche, it's WORST TRESSED.

We all know that Marc Jacobs' nipples were best in show last night, so I don't intend to waste your time with another Best Dressed list from the Met Ball. Instead, how about we take this plot on a radical twist and of all things, point out the hair and make-up fails of these beautiful people? These are my picks for Worst Tressed.

With her top curl and heavy eyes, Carey Mulligan's look was inspired by a cartoon baby in drag.

Carey Mulligan in Prada
Vera Wang and her outrageously long split ends both attended the Met Ball last night, and naturally, they both wore Vera Wang. If she held her hands to face, she could model Edvard Munch's scream for the street vendors that sell replica paintings outside of the Met.

Vera Wang in Vera Wang

Claire Danes came straight from her day job as a 1960s strip club hostess, at which she wears a Playboy bunny costume and sells cigarettes from a tray.

Claire Danes in J. Mendel

 This Ohio soccer mom won a nationwide contest to attend the red carpet of her dreams! Her amazing dress is a DIY project made from all her old MAC compacts, and yes, she plans on returning them all to get her free lipsticks.

Chloë Sevigny in Miu Miu

Scarlett's hair is inspired by Titanic's Rose, after Rose had sex in the backseat of a car, bedhead from the couch she was sketched on, battled a sinking ship and then laid half-alive on a a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean for hours.

Scarlett Johansson in Dolce & Gabbana

A good bang trim would go a long way, but after seeing her and her cheeseball fiancé in an interview, I can't help but wonder if she purposely grew them to hide her eye rolls. Just accept it Jessica: he's still the man who wore a denim patchwork suit and matching fedora to the 2001 American Music Awards.

Jessica Biel in Prada

I can't decide whether to make a joke about her being struck by lightening, a mad-scientist-slash-fashion-mogul, a crazy old woman who has escaped from an asylum, or a victim of a serial weave yanker. However, I can conclude that her hair looks like sh*t.

Mary-Kate Olsen in The Row

What do you guys think? Who were your favourite fails from the Met Gala, beauty-wise or sartorially? And who do you think were the biggest wins?

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  1. Had to laugh at your comments here. Mary Kate's ensemble is nice enough, but in combination with her scary hair, makes her look like the old lady the village kids on Road to Avonlea thought was a witch.

  2. Some said on Twitter (and it wound up on Go Fug Yourself) that Gwenyth looked like she was going to the space. I think she was my least favorite, well maybe her and January Jones. I really loved Carey Mulligan's Prada dress but definitely agree with you on the hair/makeup fail. SJP also looked rather spectacularly cracked out in a Little House on the Prairie kind of way. Oh, and Cate Blanchett in McQueen was another favorite of mine.

    Courtney ~

  3. Probably the soccer mom. But Mary Kate - oh no, what an unflattering outfit.

    Style in the City

  4. Haha I love this post, makes a change from the best dressed because, to be honest, I was really disappointed by the style at the met ball. There was no 'WOW' dress and there were way too many feathers for my liking. In my opinion the men were better dressed than the women this year :) xx

  5. i agree that Mary-kate's hair could have been better. But a look a loved from from the Met Gala was Kate Bosworths.

  6. Niki, don't ever change! hahahahaha I agreex100 with everything especially Jen's bangs and MK's ghastliness.

  7. MK looks like Morticia Addams with a tan and some one commented on my blog about the Met Ball that SJP was wearing a dress made from a Laura Ashley bedspread.

  8. MK looks like Morticia Addams with a tan and SJP looks like she is wearing a Laura Ashley bedspread!

  9. lovely dresses!!