April 30, 2012

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25 Things You Don't Know About Me

There's been a delay getting today's interview to you, so I've done what any blogger would do when all else fails: talk about myself, duh! Here is my swacked from Us Weekly albeit not as brief version of the 25 Things You Don't Know About Me.

1. My parents spelled my name "Niki" with one K because they thought it would be easier for people to spell. And no one ever spells my name right.

2. I once took a public speaking class and did an entire speech about The Twilight Saga. I thought it was hilarious, but in retrospect I really wish I could give my classmates that 20 minutes of their lives back.

3. There's nothing I hate more in the world than butterflies and moths. I would rather snuggle up to a 50 pound snake than be in the same room as a butterfly.

4. I used to have a cat that would sit on my bed and stare at me all the time. That's all he ever did. And it would freak me out when I'd get out of the shower, or get dressed, because he'd always be there. Staring. Naturally, this became a big joke, and every Christmas my mom would go to Victoria's Secret and buy me a big box of fancy panties and put them under the tree, from "the cat." When we didn't have him anymore, they would still come, but from Benny. Now that Benny has passed I guess I'll be getting sexy underwear from my mom this Christmas... which will be weirdest of all.

My creepy kitteh.

5. There are two original paintings of Benny in my house, and neither were commissioned. So he's been painted by two artists on their own accord because he was just that awesome.

6. The word I say most is probably "shit" as in, "I'm eloquent as shit." After years of this, my iPhone still won't let me type it -- it always, without fail, autocorrects shit to "shut" or "shot." I secretly think it's judging me, and no, Apple, I don't appreciate it.

7. I don't have a "worst date ever" story since I've avoided dating for the most part. But I went on a date once and the guy told me that based on my looks he considered me "an 8," but my "fat girl personality" bumped me up to a 10. Surprise! We didn't go out again.

8. I'm terrible at team sports. Or, everyone else is just much better than me. I'm not sure -- I'm still working through it.

9. Out of my many secret frat boy talents, I'm really good at beer pong. Wait... does that count as a team sport? 

10. I've had a boyfriend for 5 years, and no, he's not blind and deaf.

11. I love nature documentaries (David Attenborough is The Man) and one of my favourite shows on TV is The Deadliest Catch.

12. I don't embarrass easily (obviously) but outside of the fashion world, I find personal style blogging really embarrassing.

13. I don't like cake, and icing grosses me out -- my ass, thighs and I prefer pie! But I would give my first born for a lifetime supply of red velvet cupcakes from Dean & Deluca.

14. I have terrible eyesight, and I knew I needed eyeglasses for a long time before I actually got them in grade 8 or 9, but didn't tell anyone because I did not need glasses in addition to my lowl (a long bowl cut), Italian eyebrows, and braces.

15. Even after late-blooming, I look terrible in eyeglasses and refuse to wear mine in public. When I first dealt with my horrible eyesight, I tried on every single pair of eyeglasses at Lens Crafters, and finally the salesman, whose job it was to sell glasses, said, "have you thought about getting contacts?" And so I did. And my brother had to help me put them in for months.

16. I've been drinking coffee every single morning since childhood -- I think 9 or 10 years old. I was a competitive figure skater so I needed the caffeine to wake up for early morning practices, but I also had a secret plot to stunt my own growth so I could make it to the Olympics. Today, I'm an unathletic 5'9" with a crippling addiction.

17. On that note, in high school I was voted "Most likely to go to the Olympics." And I did, in 2010, when the Winter Olympics were held in Vancouver, by way of purchased tickets and event reporting. So suck on that, yearbook committee. I win.

18. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Ask me about the human brain, I dare you. #ScienceNerd.

19. If you don't eat carbs, I think you're stupid. When it comes to eating, my mantra is always WWMBD: What Would Mario Batali Do? But then again, this is based on an overweight man with an affinity for cargo shorts and Crocs, so... I guess we'll see how that works out for me.

20. I'm really good at tennis and golf. Fine, that's a lie. But I have a good feeling about both. This summer, it's on.

21. When I was in grade 7, I made friends with a new boy in school, and he called me "Dickhole" since my full name is Nicole. I'm glad this was a nickname that didn't catch on... for long.

22. I own an Ed Hardy hat -- skulls, glitter, and all. I won it in a contest in 2006 and I've been saving it since just in case I ever need to dress up like a douchebag or interview the cast of the Jersey Shore, in costume.

23. I wear sweatpants, pajamas, and/or my bathrobe so much more than this blog would indicate. I'm actually wearing my pajamas and my bathrobe right now.

24. I love pranking people, specifically and mostly, my older brother. When he was home a few Christmases ago, I took photos of his toothbrush in gross places with his camera, and then hid his camera for a few days to ensure he would use his toothbrush before discovering the photos. An easy and personal favourite move is to ask "does this smell/taste weird?" and give something to him to smell or taste, and later show him a picture of it under/near Benny's butt. I'm an asshole, I know, but I can assure you he always gets his revenge.

25. If I ever meet Robert Luongo, I will probably throw up and crap my pants at the same time.

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  1. Haha funny! I have to do similar thing :D

  2. Caffeine didn't slow me down either. Suck on that, caffeine-hating scientific studies.

  3. That dating story is pretty scary! What an *******! this was a fun post to read :)

  4. Such a fun post!


  5. Wow. I hate butterflies too. Damn them and their erratic flight patterns and unpredictability. I also hate when they sun themselves on flowers in the summer. The Vancouver Aquarium can turn into a nightmare quickly during "butterfly season". Gross.

  6. Very, very funny :-) Especially "every Christmas my mom would go to Victoria's Secret and buy me a big box of fancy panties and put them under the tree, from "the cat."" - it's clear where you get your sense of humor from!

  7. Hahaha I think this just made my day :) Definitely agree on a lot of things lol such as the glasses, being tall & my love for wearing pajamas and my bathrobe!

    xo, jen

  8. Pretty sure Benny is looking straight into my soul in that pic!

  9. I'm pretty sure Benny is looking right into my soul in that picture. I like it.

  10. Haha thank you for making my day with this hilarious post! Love how real and honest you are, in the funniest possible way.

  11. first 90's mase and now this?! My morning is going to be a win. #7 is awesome. Upon seeing a photo of me from grade 8, my first year boyfriend said: well isn't that an ugly duckling to swam story if I ever saw one. True story. We dated a while longer but I was in first year and not often sober.

  12. Hahahahaha dead at number 7. Lord have mercy on his soul hahahaa.
    and I`m gonna borrow that WWMBD business xx


  13. I actually laughed out loud at #25. Me. Too.

  14. I really thought I was the only one with a completely irrational yet severe fear of moths and therefore by default, butterflies too!!! Hahaha so glad I'm not alone! P.S. I'm pretty sure they can smell fear...

  15. PIE.
    also, did your 7th grade friend smell like...stuff that happens in the bathroom?
    and thank you for showing me to joy of Dean & Deluca's red velvet cupcakes. no wonder i was a fatass after getting home - i had double what you had.

  16. a pterodactyl sized moth was flying around my room last night, true story. four hours of sleep later i appreciate that it's a bit of a common hatred!


  18. Niki, I just found this now. You. are. hilarious. who is the new boy in school in Grade 7 you met? I have no recollection of this!

  19. Niki, I just found this post and i have to say that you. are. hilarious!
    Btw, who is this new boy in grade 7 that you made friends with? I have no recollection of this name calling.