Did I just stumble upon the best gift imaginable mere days before Christmas? DUH, it's a Maison Martin Margiela leather camel toe bookmark!
Remember books?! They're like iPads, but thicker, with paper pages bound together with glue. You place this delightful piece of leather in your book, to mark the place where you last stopped reading -- a bookmark! See diagram below.
Not only is it guaranteed to be the best $45 you've ever spent, but it's genuine leather, handmade in France and designer-stamped in gold. If you feel like showing up Santa this year, you can snap one up on NET-A-PORTER.COM.
Matthew Broderick: I hope you're paying attention.